Well we tried Walmart again today. We went last Saturday and ended up leaving the store before we even got to the grocery section. That trip ended when Johnny knocked some displays off the jewelry counter. Not fun. :( If you are new to my blog, Johnny is my 8 year old son and he has autism.
Today's trip was to a Super Walmart which I thought may be different and Johnny was excited to go. The MINUTE we walked through the door he looked at me and said "I'll say SHIT Mommy." I pulled him to the side and spoke to him about the rules and reminded him that if he wasn't good in Walmart we would not be going to get waffle fries at Chick Fil A. We made it through the produce section and into the bread aisle which is always very crowded. That was it. I had to get behind him and hold his arms, crossed in front of him and use one arm to hold his head kind of still because he will head butt my chest with it if I'm behind him. I truly believe now, after today and last weekend, that he cannot handle being in the store when it is so crowded. He was very excited to go to Super Walmart yet the second we walked in there he began to lose it. I also know he really wanted waffle fries so that tells me he really couldn't help getting angry. (He should not behave this way when he is angry, I'm not saying it was okay). But now I think I've learned my lesson. It's too hard for him. I do think I made a mistake. The first thing we did this morning was go to a nearby water park because it was "Disability Day." (Not crazy about that title but what can I do?) I told him in the morning before we went that if he was good at the water park we would go to Super Walmart and Chick Fil A. He was very good at the water park. But he was not good at Super Walmart. I think the goal was too much for one reward. When I told him we were not going to Chick Fil A he was VERY angry and screamed at me for about 20 minutes, from the back seat of the car. (I was smart this time....had my wonderful daughter, Riley, remove EVERYTHING from the back seat of the car and we stuck it in the trunk. Nothing to throw at windows, or at my unsuspecting head while I'm driving). I am pretty sure that he was confused about being on his best behavior at the water park and not getting to go to Chick Fil A. There is so much to think of!! I was very proud of myself for sticking to my guns and not giving in about getting waffle fries. Let me tell you, I really had my heart set on a Banana Pudding milkshake from Chick Fil A. More than you can imagine. To make things work you have to be consistent and follow through with what you say or the whole thing is for nothing. Sometimes it's hard but it's the only way to do it.
FYI I do plan to do an entry on the other siblings in the house. I think I'll make that my next one. They are very special children and amazing helpers. I could never do this without them. I try to let them know that as often as possible.
So, what I want you to get from this entry is, don't set goals too high for your child. Think about your expectations and plan the reward accordingly. Take one event and plan one reward for it. Stick with it. Don't give in. No matter how badly you want that Banana Pudding milkshake.
A blog about raising a child with autism, what has worked for me and what hasn't, and behavior strategies. I am NO expert but want to share what I know. Lots of easy (non-autism related) simple recipes and lots of silly stories about day to day life.
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Consistency is a good lesson for ALL parents. So good for you for sticking to it! Both you and Johnny will be rewarded for it in the long run with better behaviors and calmer shopping.
ReplyDeleteThis might sound crazy but just an idea I came up with while reading this entry, do you think it would make a difference if he wore sunglasses when he was in a crowd? Maybe even those ones with the sides on them so he can't see peripherally?
Another well-written entry! I'm sorry you weren't able to get your milkshake, but glad you stuck to your guns. That just means you can have a few more secret peanut butter oreos tonight. Shhh!
ReplyDeleteTrish I'm thinking it's the sounds in a crowded store that he has problem with. I can't be sure, but that's what I think. If ONLY he would answer one question: WHY. It would solve so many mysteries. "Why did you get upset as soon as we walked in?" For a little while, I'm not going to try him in the store anymore. I found out that "practicing" being in public could be helpful. Maybe I'll start trying that. We just did some fun story-telling. Out of nowhere he said "king" and from there we made a story. It was fun. Turns out a king and his princesses ate waffles for breakfast and then went outside, got on their horses and rode them to Home Depot and the King jumped all the way up and touched the ceiling. What an imagination.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Julie! Would you believe I went as far as buying some DECOY Oreos today just to throw off the scent of my Peanut Butter Oreos? I'm insane, I know. I left the boring Oreos in plain sight but still have my faves tucked away. :o)